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What are some funny and smart quotes?

Last Updated: 16.06.2025 01:20

What are some funny and smart quotes?

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

Why do some of those who believe in a god refuse to consider the possibility they could be wrong?

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

Can they start feeding only one meal to prisoners on death row or those doing a life sentence? Because only then will it be real punishment. If they want extra food they can work or pay from their own pocket.

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

If the world was flat, would it be possible to see Mount Everest if it was on the other side of the Earth on a clear sunny day?

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”